Sometimes it’s really hard to see where things go wrong in a relationship. You may never question you love for the other, but the amounts of having an argument, can make you doubt if your partner truly is the one.
It’s in our human nature that we fail at things. It’s the brokenness of this earth that make us miss our goal in live. Live will never succeed by itself, but it will go wrong! Having an argument with your partner is not always preventable, but a lot of times it is. Here are some tips to help you prevent small meaningless arguments with your partner.
- Sleep well
When I met Jop he told me how he slept exactly 8 hours every night. Since his daily routine is always the same, it’s really easy for him to keep on track. As for me, my work times really fluctuated. Going to bed at the same time everyday wasn’t an option for me and neither is going to bed before 10 pm. How can I go to sleep when I actually start coming alive in the evening?! Well, as practice shows, I am really moody when I don’t sleep enough. I will be tired and hungry – hangry as they say – and that’s not really a good influence on our relationship. In the beginning I didn’t even recognized it and in all those years before, I even thought sleeping less does not effect me at all. Until I started wondering where all the small meaningless arguments came from. There would be always something that irritates me. Even worse when we’re both tired. Things will pop up which would have never even been there when we slept enough. And forgiving then is really hard. In the end, I am happier, funnier and more tolerant when I sleep enough and on time. And I do believe, it’s not just me.
- Eat well
As I mentioned: hangry – hungry and angry. Not a good influence on your relationship either. Whenever Jop and I go somewhere, and we are not sure if there will be food (on time), we make sure we eat something maybe small or bring some food with us. We both can be really curt and straight forward when we are hungry. It’s better to find a place to buy food, then to argue about it. And sometimes it might be necessary to keep quit until you’ve eaten something.
”You’re not you when you’re hungry. Eat a Snickers.”
- Sport, meditate or hobby
I am a thinker and an over-thinker. When my head is full of whatever can be in there, I can get frustrated or emotional and somehow I give off on the one I love most, Jop. It’s really unfair if you ask me. But somehow it works that way. It’s better to just walk, sport, meditate or do anything to clear your mind or at least find some peace. And then…
Talk about it! I find this one really hard. I struggle to find words, so mostly I say, with a lot or tears, ‘I don’t know’, ‘I don’t know what’s going on, but my head is so full.’ Jop is a good listener. He also learned his lesson, that it’s not necessary to solve the problem or figure out what the problem actually is, but just to hug and hold me tight, to make me feel secure enough to find the right words and speak, and let all my thoughts and feelings go. Even while writing this, I feel so relieved again.